My husband doesn’t read my blog, and I’m happy about it.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s not anti-blog. He’s glad I enjoy it. He’ll put up with my constant need to take photos for the blog. He’ll let me bounce blog post ideas off him and ramble on about blogging strategies. But he doesn’t read my blog. He doesn’t tweet about my blog. He doesn’t write glowing facebook posts with links to my blog. And I’m glad. Here’s why:
I like having an arena where I can define myself outside of him.
Online, I am me. I have my own friends and own little universe. He is a peripheral player in my online world, which is perfectly fine. Because offline, I am often the peripheral player. We move so frequently for his work that the people we meet in a new place are usually his coworkers. They identify me as “his wife.” For his coworkers, he is the key player. But online, I get to be the key player.
My husband knows I’m capable.
He knows I don’t need his help to write or promote a blog post. He knows that blogging is one area where I am the household expert. He’ll talk up my writing skills at dinner parties or with colleagues because he wants to support my identity outside of the role of being his wife. But at home, he lets me write without butting in.
He doesn’t worship me or put me on a pedestal.
When he does get around to reading a blog post, he might tell me that he enjoyed it, or he might say that he thought it was lame. He’s read several of my short stories, and will frequently critique them. I know that my writing can always be improved, so I would feel condescended to if he were constantly complimenting me. If I need a compliment or support, he will give it, but he knows I’m serious enough about writing to handle his honesty.
He doesn’t read my blog, but he validates my interests without usurping them. He treats me as a skilled and capable human being, and not as someone who needs his constant praise. And we can each feel comfortable pursuing our own interests, even though our interests diverge.
That being said, I’m very grateful to you all for reading!
I’m so lucky to be part of a community of bloggers and writers. Thank you so much for your support!