October 1st, 2012 
Emily 
My husband doesn’t read my blog, and I’m happy about it.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s not anti-blog. He’s glad I enjoy it. He’ll put up with my constant need to take photos for the blog. He’ll let me bounce blog post ideas off him and ramble on about blogging strategies. But he doesn’t read my blog. He doesn’t tweet about my blog. He doesn’t write glowing facebook posts with links to my blog. And I’m glad. Here’s why:
I like having an arena where I can define myself outside of him.
Online, I am me. I have my own friends and own little universe. He is a peripheral player in my online world, which is perfectly fine. Because offline, I am often the peripheral player. We move so frequently for his work that the people we meet in a new place are usually his coworkers. They identify me as “his wife.” For his coworkers, he is the key player. But online, I get to be the key player.
My husband knows I’m capable.
He knows I don’t need his help to write or promote a blog post. He knows that blogging is one area where I am the household expert. He’ll talk up my writing skills at dinner parties or with colleagues because he wants to support my identity outside of the role of being his wife. But at home, he lets me write without butting in.
He doesn’t worship me or put me on a pedestal.
When he does get around to reading a blog post, he might tell me that he enjoyed it, or he might say that he thought it was lame. He’s read several of my short stories, and will frequently critique them. I know that my writing can always be improved, so I would feel condescended to if he were constantly complimenting me. If I need a compliment or support, he will give it, but he knows I’m serious enough about writing to handle his honesty.
He doesn’t read my blog, but he validates my interests without usurping them. He treats me as a skilled and capable human being, and not as someone who needs his constant praise. And we can each feel comfortable pursuing our own interests, even though our interests diverge.
That being said, I’m very grateful to you all for reading!
I’m so lucky to be part of a community of bloggers and writers. Thank you so much for your support!
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A good hubby he is! To many husbands think they have to “fix” or control everything “the little wife” does. Unfortunately it’s not just the older guys, either. Even worse, to many women still think that’s the way it is supposed to be, and fail to reach their full potential. You two seem to have it figured out. Congratulations to both of you!
Thanks for you wise (and kind) words, Bobbie. Yeah, I notice a lot of men doing these things and it creeps me out! My husband’s supportive and such a sweetie, but he also knows that I can take care of things my self!
I love this post because it’s pretty much my own blogging story, too! When I first arrived in Taiwan, I was “Ron’s wife.” I started building a readership and meeting friends through my blog, which played a big part in my adjustment to expat life. Gradually, Ron became “Shu Flies’ husband,” which he finds amusing. I think if I keep posting cat photos, though, we’ll soon become “Taroko George’s humans.”
Thanks, Catherine! I love that your semi-famous cat will soon be taking over center stage. (I knew we didn’t have a cat for a reason– I need to be the prima donna.)
That’s great to hear. Josh is pretty hands-off, too, aside from a few promotions on Facebook and helping with design stuff. It’s fun to hear about you guys outside of your African adventures–we miss you here in Prov!
Yeah, Josh is a sweetie, he promotes my blog too! (And he does it all because he wants to, not because he feels like he has too.) Miss you guys too, hope your writing and new school are going well!
I’m so glad you have that kind of support! My husband does read my blog, but he’s violently allergic to social media, so no promoting goes on. He will help me find typos, etc. He supports this writing gig and respects what I do. When I first told him I wanted to write a book, he said, “I’m sure you can do it.” So glad you have someone like that too!
Thanks for reading my blog and for all of the support you give me!
Sounds like you have a keeper!
Yep, that’s we follow them around the world, right?
I encouraged my husband to start reading my blog a few months after we moved to South Africa, the main reason being was that things for me here as a visitor are very difficult and hard. Since reading my posts and comments from other expats he has realised that I don’t cope even though I do get things done. We did and do talk, but the blog provides me with an uninterrupted commentary that he can suggest and ask me things about that the usual talk end in a rant and he misses my point and I loose my way.
That’s great- it sounds like for you and your husband the blog helps to open up communication. My husband listens to me rant enough already, that’s probably why he doesn’t read my blog.